jack
in the
pulpit
Whither the
Marmora Pig?
by Jim
Williams
A few weeks ago, I had the good fortune of driving through
the beautiful village of Marmora, home of the world famous
Marmora Pig, imortailzed in the Washboard Hank song
of the same name.
I was hoping to pick up a momento from Marmora, a Tshirt
with a picture of the pig or maybe one of those nifty snow
bubbles with the pig inside. At the very least, I thought
there’d be a sign saying “Welcome to Marmora, Home of
the Marmora Pig.”But alas, there was nothing! So I put
my brain to work and I came up with what I think is a brilliant
idea: Someone should erect a statue of Marmora’s most famous
citizen, the Marmora Pig!
This is a project that could unite the entire community.
To raise money to pay for the statue, they could hold a Pig
Festival complete with a pig roast (like the Friar’s Roast-we
wouldn’t want to kill any pigs) and a contest for the best
pig costume. The highlight of the festival would be a concert
by Washboard Hank himself. Maybe Rev. Ken could come
by and lead the crowd in a rousing rendition of Makin’
Bacon.
No doubt this would become an annual event. People would
come from miles around. This isn’t just some far-fetched,
pie-in-the-sky idea. The good folks of St. Thomas, Ontario
erected a statue of Jumbo the elephant and every year
people come from as far away as Port Stanley to celebrate
Jumbo Days.
James Gordon even wrote a song about it. In Woodstock
they have a statue of Springbank Snow Princess, the
world champion dairy cow. In Gundagi, Australia there’s a
statue of a dog sitting (some say he’s "shitting")
on a "tucker box" as described in a song whose chorus
goes "the dog sat (shat?) on the tucker box nine miles
from Gundagi" (the statue is exactly nine miles from
the town).
I’m sure you can see the potential here. Politicians would
be falling all over themselves to have their pictures taken
with the Marmora Pig. Tourists would schedule their vacations
to coincide with the Pig Festival. It would all have to be
done tastefully. We wouldn’t want to turn Marmora into Niagara
Falls (although a Wax Museum featuring Miss Piggy and
Porky Pig might be a nice touch). Anyway, every act
of greatness begins with a vision.
Note: no one in marmora has any connection with the marmora
pig. Hank chose marmora as the home of this pig ’cause he
liked the illiteration of the phrase marmora pig.
And more from Jim:
And another great idea. Someone’s probably thought of
this already but how about a statue of the Honky Tonk Donkey
in Coboconk? We could have Donkey Days (just like they do
in Tijuana!!), play “Pin the Tail on the Donkey”
and serve delicious Donkey Burgers (I think McDonald’s
is already doing this!) I’m sure we could get Heritage
Canada to throw in a few bucks (“your tax dollars at
work“”) Whaddya think?
And it doesn’t matter the pig isn’t really from Marmora.
Big deal! Mickey Mouse isn’t from Anaheim, but that
didn’t stop Disney from making trillions of dollars
from the prissy little rodent. What else has Marmora got going
for it? It’s a pretty little town but pretty little towns
are a dime a dozen. A statue of the soon-to-be-famous Marmora
Pig would boost the local economy and create jobs so that
the young people of Marmora wouldn’t have to go to the fleshpots
of Toronto or Peterborugh to seek employment. But I guess
we Canadians are pretty small minded when it comes to creating
national icons. If this was the Excited Snakes, there’d
be a theme park dedicated to the Marmora Pig, a Saturday morning
cartoon and eventually a feature-length movie. McDonald’s
would be giving away action figures of the pig and insted
of Chicken McNuggets, they’d be selling pig turds (wait a
minute, they do that now, don’t they?)
Anyway, it’s a great song from a great CD. Thanks for
the music and give my best to cousin Jeff.
to contact those leading the charge, email Jim.Williams@facswaterloo.org
or Washboard Hank c/o www.melmusic.com/washboardhank/
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