One fine summer's day, the McColl family decided to
put up their big dining tent, to air it out, and maybe
use it should they decide to play "Ingalls" and rough it.

Being supermom, I was always shouting "Be Careful!"
warning all of the dangers surrounding them.....

Poles are unwrapped, pegs are placed on the ground to
be hammered in, the tent in unfolded and we begin.

All the pegs, which are considerably old and rusty (metal)
are hammered into the ground, and ropes attached.
Mindful that I am not wearing shoes, I carefully step around
all the pegs, shouting warnings to everyone else,
forgetting they are smart and are wearing army boots and
combat gear while I traipse around in barefeet and a swim
suit.

Reaching up to hold a rope, I step over a rusty peg...
but forget to remind my other foot of the danger.
With a mind of it's own, it raises, impales on a peg and nicely
tears open the entire side of my foot.

I didn't even know. I'm still helping. It's Lucifer that freaks.

"ACK! BLOOD! EWWWW IIICCK!!! AAAAACK!"

I drop the rope thinking he was dying or something,
only to see him pointing at *me*. I look down.

Now, remember. I was *FINE* till i looked down.

All I see was blood. My blood. Blood that was once in
in my foot but is now puddling OUTSIDE of my foot.
This alone causes me to freak out.
Some nice person was kind enough to get me a bucket
of cold water in which to submerge my gashed foot.
You know, things don't hurt really till you submerge them.
As my foot went into the freezing water, a string of words
that would make a sailor blush spurted from my lips.
Someone conveniently covered Lucifer and Damians'
ears as their eyes popped open as such speech.

Bleeding like a ... well... like a woman with her foot torn
open, I managed to see that I really did it this time, that was
a nasty one.... Mr Happy would have to stay with the kids.
I again called Karen. My partner in triage.

She arrived in record time, helped to wrap my foot again
and got me into the car. It really was a mess but finally
was slowing down on the bleeding.

The triage nurse got me into a bed quickly. And looked
at the damage. The tear was such that it would take
layers of stitches, so uneven was the gash..... so....
all they could do was pinch it closed, and wrap it very
tight so the skin would grow together again naturally.

All the while she spoke to us, saying what she was doing
then inevitably asked.

"What happened?"

Karen and I looked at each other.

I cleared my throat.

"Well...I was camping. Yes. And out of nowhere came
this huge monster bear!!!! And it attacked my foot!"
Karen nodded quickly, adding "Yes, and bravely she
chewed it's head off!!!!!!!!"
(Karen snapped this photograph before we removed
the head to get to the hospital........)

Grimly the nurse nodded.
"It appears the bear had rusty teeth" She said, wiping
away tell-tale signs. And where there is rust, there is
infection. When was your last tetnus?

I gulped cuz it had been at *least* 10 years and I knew it.
"I cannot tell a lie....." (To which Karen chokes back a laugh)
It's been 10 years since my last tetnus shot."
I felt like I was in a confessional.

Next thing I see is this huge needle, 5... no.... 10 inches long
pointing into my arm.......I spout "But.... but......!!!!!"
and my words are cut short by a hot blast of medicine
bursting through my skin, into my arm....
Nurse Hatchet smiles evilly as I whimper, tears filling my eyes.

Hatchet pulls the death skewer out and wipes the gaping
hole it left with a swab, murmuring.....
"There, there. Anyone that can chew the head off a bear
can certainly take a needle!"
She got me there. I jutted my chin out bravely. She
bandaged my arm and I felt my chin quiver again.

"Aren't you gonna draw a happy face on it for me?!"

She did. But i swear she pressed harder than necessary.

Such terror in my life to face these dangerous animals.
When I got home, I mounted the beast in Mr. Happy's
Den of Manliness. In hopes that we never have to
endure such terror again.

Take me home! Main Dave's Chronicles