Today started like any other day. My eyes opened, I yawned and stretched, turned off the alarm. I got out of bed.

That was my first mistake.

Being the perfect mother of the 90's, I went into the kitchen
to prepare a hearty, hot meal of pancakes for the angel children
before school. The rich creamy batter smelled sooo fresh and tasty,
the pan bubbling and ready for it's gooey contents as I pick up the
bowl to move towards the stove. But...what's this? A tiny crumb on the
kitchen floor, yes, that must have been it, to cause my equilibrium to
spin, and the bowl to move from it's upright position to the inverted
position it was suddenly in. All over the floor. Well, the part that wasn't
on the dog.

*sigh* Ok. It's only one LITTLE mistake. Finally, Lucifer is deposited
safely on the bus and I take Damian to his final dental appointment.
Pull into a choice spot in the parking lot and exit the vehicle. I guess
my knee forgot to exit however, for suddenly it was slammed in the
car door. I was doubled over instantly, while the coffee i carried in my
GO cup dribbled happily into the folds of my purse, and Joey just
stood there looking at me, wincing, saying "Gee Dave i bet that hurt". No shit.

Luckily, I made it into the building, through his appointment with
a sigh of relief, and EXITED the building once again to the parking lot.
Noting the long line of traffic stopped at the light beside the lot,
with a smile, knowing it would be moving by the time I had the car
in gear. I step into the lot, take a long sip from my coffee mug
and instantly choke on it.

And of course, all I could do, was spew it randomly throughout
the lot....gosh I hope that fella had stainguard on his driver seat......
I mean, this wasn't a little *cough squirt* this was the
Great White Whale SPEW of the century. Damain ran like his
ASS was on fire across the lot hoping not to be sprayed,
and the cars lined up at the light had the show of a lifetime.

One lady even unrolled her window asking if i was alright.
I waved her off, not looking at her,
silently thinking "Just GO lady, just #%@*&$^ GO!!!"

I get back in the car, Damian/Joey's already there, staring at me, and calmly
asks if i had beer for breakfast or something. We laugh hard the
whole ride back to school, his little frozen mouth from fillings flapping,
my knee throbbing, the contents that once filled my coffee mug
now living in my purse folds, and the parking lot of our dentist.

Dropping Damian off, he hugs and kisses me, gets out of the car,
holding the door open and comments "You uh, think you'll make
it home ok Dave?" My inner monologue exclaims
"just GO, just GET OUT!"

The rest of the day seems ok... a little computer trouble,
a little trouble brushing out the dog, what with caked on,
dried in pancake batter ground into her hair and all, but seemingly ok.

It's dinner time. And we're up there making grilled cheese and
fooling around while they cook. However i accidently trip Josh
and DOWN he goes with a monsterous THUD! (well, as monsterous
as THAT little frame can thud), knocking the wind out of him and
causing him to burst into tears. I sit on the floor, holding him
in my arms, feeling like the cruddiest mom on earth for playing
rough, while Joey comments "Gee i hope his ribs aren't bruised,
how would you explain that Dave?" Josh gasps and cries harder
"And geez, if the wind is knocked outta him, he won't breathe
again will he?" All this while casually tilting a kitchen chair
and chewing his nails. While I softly coo to the crying child in
my arms, the smoke rises from the pan on the stove, I carefully
place Josh in a chair and run to the stove.

There i find two charred grilled cheese sandwhiches roasting
in the frying pan. Damian throws his hands up in disgust "I'm not
eating THAT!" Lucifer whimpers quietly. I decide that perhaps
i should just quit. But make two more fresh
sandwhiches, noting that grover stays WAY FAR backed away
from me as I cook, park their behinds in front of a movie.

Pouring a tall glass of wine, thinking..... here I go again, my life
is a commercial and........ I want my mommy.
Here's to you again mom. You're a Goddess to have survived
"MOTHERHOOD"

Take me home! Main Dave's Chronicles

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