It MUST be Friday.
It's only 9:52 AM and I'm ready to crawl RIGHT back into bed.

Woke up this morning (*again* the first mistake) hearing Damian
prancing around the house at 6:00, all excited to get to school.
Yes, i know... "excited to get to school???... you say? Well, not exactly.
Excited to get going because he's not coming home tonight.
He's staying overnight at a friends house.

Remembering this, i vault out of bed and pack enough stuff to
last two weeks (just in case they're having fun and they want him to stay
L O N G E R), then hear Lucifer coughing. Go into HIS room to
discover a 101 feverish, shivering sick kid. So ok, I get kid number
one off to school, sick kid #2 in a cool bath and try to figure out
how i'm going to pay bills today.

No problem, he feels better after a bath, we climb into the car,
first stop, tax office. Here i am with a fist full of $100's. 12 to be exact.
For those that have to count on their hands, i'll make it easy on you...
that's $1200.00

And do you *really* think i want to hand that over to the township office?
*NOT* While sitting in the parking lot, i consider my options.
Hawaii? No maybe Vegas, ooooh Bahamas!!! Now i could maybe
stay a week in the Bahama's, and......
(hearing a cough and a small moan coming from the seat beside me)
*BLAST BACK to reality* Eyeing the sick youngin', i decide maybe
i'll do the Bahama's *next* year, pay the bill and leave.

Without a receipt. Duh. Let's give someone $1200 and not get a receipt.
But Kelly, you say, it's a government office.......
Need I say more?
I went back and got a receipt.

Next stop, the Post Office. And guess what.
*THEY* don't have any .46 cent stamps.
Of course they don't, they're the post office.
How silly of me to assume they carry stamps.
But... the convenience store beside it does, makes sense to me.
So i buy the stamps, mail the rest of my bills, hop to the bank
two shops down to put the money in the cash machine to cover
those bills. Gladly the steel jaws open to swallow the envelope
stuffed with more of those large bills.... then nothing. Nada.
It ate my money and didn't even burp. No thank you, nothing.
So i stand there for a minute, because the bank itself doesn't
open for an hour, the line behind me grows, Josh starts pacing.

I turn around and sort smile and shrug at the disgruntled
faces behind me.. I just put $350 cash in there, I'm not leaving till
i get my confirmation folks. *wait* *looking at my watch* *tap tap tap*
Two people at the end of the line leave with a hefty sigh.
I consider following them and explaining, "But... But.....
it won't say thank you!!!!!" and decide not too. Finally it makes
a weird nose, like a cough or something and dislodges my
receipt like a cat spitting out a hairball. Minus the spit. Finally.

Next the pharmacy. We get the medicine we need, plus a couple things i
bought for myself with my huge six figure salary *cough* and
decide to just pay for it all at the back counter, 4 items, paid for
by cash, receipt stuffed in my purse.
(After all, i GOTTA HAVE MY RECEIPT!)
And we slowly make our way back to the front of the store,
looking at stuff. We come to the front door, passing by several
people at the cashiers there and pass through the bars.......
*RED LIGHT FLASHES LIKE A FRIGGIN' COP CAR*
*BEEEEEP BEEEEEEP BEEEEEEP BEEEEEEEEP BEEEEEEEEEP*
goes the alarm.

I closed my eyes and thought..... well... i thought a-four-letter-word,
but i'll say "Gosh". Everyone at the front of the store freezes.
Some lady 'walks' me over to the cash and takes the bag out
of my hand, dumping it on the counter. A snarly,
pimply faced teen says in a snotty voice "Where's your receipt!".
I got mad. I know I know, I shouldn't have. But I did.
I looked up at her, cuz she was sorta bigger'n'me, and just got
as snotty as she did, said "Ask me nicely!"

The funniest part was, she DID! She even apologized to
someone that COULD be a shoplifter! "Sorry Ma'am, may i see
your receipt please" Ha! Not ONLY did i get an apology, but a "Ma'am" to boot!

When it was determined that I haven't appeared on
America's Most Wanted, and it was confirmed that the
cash till at the back just didn't swipe the items properly,
I was released from my bondage and freed into the
general population to try to face the world glaring at me
with suspicious eyes.

So if i appear paranoid and sensitive... well...
WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?
WHY DO YOU THINK I FEEL LIKE THAT ANYWAYS?!?!?!

I'm considering the life of a hermit.
Well... a hermit with a computer anyways.

Take me home! Main Dave's Chronicles

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