It'll cost you
Today was my birthday.
"...with a high today 9C, scattered showers tapering off
7:25am
I reach over and slam off the alarm.
Well damn. Dreaming sucks.
"Hey Dave"
Clothes are thrown.
"Hey!" sez the birthday girl.
All heads turn.
"Is that all you have to say to me today?"
They look at each other.
Damian gets an excited look.
"I need two bucks, it's cupcake day at school"
I get up realizing they probably have the kitchen
Racing out, I see a cereal bowl with two dead
"See you later" *slam*
8:00am
The boys gather their coats while I make their lunches,
I look at Grover.
"Don't YOU even have anything to say to me this
She cocks her head to the side before quickly twisting
Well damn.
8:30am
Dad phones, and sings Happy Birthday to me.
9:00am
Just after my shower, I hear Mr Happy pull into the
I race to the door and open it for him.
"Forgot my invoice book"
I'm watching him.
"By the way, I'm probably working late tonight"
It's a ploy. I know it's a ploy. He isn't working
The rest of my day is practically silent.
Mr Happy calls.
"Not working late, partner is tired, I'll be home
I'm beaming.
5:10pm
He comes home.
"You look nice. What's for dinner?"
Ok, you know what? It finally sinks in.
I slam my mouth shut, as it was basically gaping open
For two hours, I went out of my way to say nothing about
7pm struck on the clock with a knock on my door.
My neighbour Brian bursts through the door with a
Three sets of eyes open wide, looking from Brian
Mr Happy stands there.
"You forgot huh"
I snort.
Mr Happy does the helpless, mouth flapping sans sound
Brian tells a few jokes, scratches his head, looks
I have a seat, cross my legs, pour a small drink, and
He moves to my chair, leans down, kisses my cheek.
"Um, Happy Birthday honey. Uh... I remembered, but
I examine my fingernails.
"I had my whole morning planned to do a quick job,
I barely stifle a yawn and sip from my beverage.
"Want to go out for some dinner?" His voice cracks.
"It's 7:30, the boys go to bed in half hour" monotone reply.
"Tomorrow?"
"You have to work"
"Ok... uh..... I have to work Thursday night too, I leave Friday...
I stare at him.
"You're working Thursday night?"
"Yeah, just till 10 or so"
I sit up quite straight. I clear my throat.
"Thursday, *DEAR* is our 15th wedding anniversary"
He stands.
I cross my legs again, fold my arms across my chest
30 seconds pass.
*bang*
I shake my head.
*bang*
I shake my head.
He winces, squeezes his eyes shut.
*bang*
I smile.
"Deal"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~copyright 2000 ~ Dave~~~~~~~~~~~
I heard the trumpets sound, and
caught a quick glimpse of the marching band
outside. There were so many flowers in
my room, amidst heartshaped balloons, I
simply couldn't see. And ah.... Mr Happy,
wearing only a smile and holding a tray filled
with all my breakfast favourites. Breakfast in
bed! I feel like a PRINCESS!
This is the best birthday of my whole life!
this afternoon to sunny skies. A little Santana should
take the edge off............. *guitar riffs....*"
Still smiling.
My eyes open.
The normal bedroom scene is before me.
Where the heck are the balloons, the flowers?
I don't hear the trumpets.
Racing to the window, I don't see the marching band
either. All I hear is Mr Happy gurgling in the shower
and two demons fighting over who gets to hand him
a towel.
I lay there until they all move into the bedroom, so
Mr Happy can get dressed.
The kids pile on the bed.
I sit up, rubbing my eyes, and propping my pillow
behind me.
Smiling, I say good morning to them all.
"Mornin' Dave"
"Where's my socks?"
"I can't find my toothbrush Dave"
"You better get up, we slept in"
People are dressing.
I frown.
They look at me blankly.
I suddenly feel like Molly Ringwald in
"Pretty in Pink"
So, in reaction, *I* get an excited look and smile.
*SIGH*
all ready, hot coffee, eggs, bacon... sure, that's what
they've done!
Fruit Loops floating, some toast crust and half
a glass of juice, which Mr Happy chokes down on
his rush out the door.
my brows furrowed. I stuff their lunches in their backpacks,
they give me hurried hugs and kisses and race out to the
bus stop.
She looks right back at me.
morning??"
to gnaw on her leg.
My neighbours phone, THEY sing.
Even my LIFE insurance guy phones.
I get my email and with pleasure open several e-greetings.
driveway and the smile wraps almost around my head.
That dear sweet man! He just wanted to wait for the kids
to be in school, and for me to wake up a bit!
*fumbling through stuff on the table*
"Where did you put my invoice book! I CAN'T
FIND MY.... oh, here it is."
*small kiss on the cheek*
"Bye Dave"
*slam*
late. He's just trying to get me all goofed up thinking
nobody remembered my birthday. Ha ha. Ok. I'll
play along.
3:45pm
around 5, bye Dave *click*"
The kids get home, while they're making a mess, I
primp, I preen, I dress in nice stuff, and wait for Mr
Happy figuring we're going out for dinner.
He forgot that today is my birthday.
He truly, sincerely, STUPIDLY forgot.
I don't want presents.
I don't want diamonds.
I don't want flowers.
(Well ok, flowers might have been nice)
I would have been well pleased to simply hear
"Happy Birthday (insert spontaneous endearment here)".
at the realization that Mr Happy, my husband, who has
been celebrating birthdays with me for 15 years, forgot
that today is the anniversary of the day the earth was
blessed with my presence.
it. To avoid starting all conversations, and trying to not
look mad. Trying to not look disappointed. Trying to not
look like I was deciding what I was going to agree to
during the kiss-up session later.
Mr Happy, me and the demons
are standing in the kitchen.
big bottle of home-brew.
I smile at the irony and say a little prayer
Forgive him father, for he knows not what he does.
Brian smiles at all of us, holds the bottle out to me,
and does a really... well a really poor but sweet
rendition of "They say it's your birthday.... it's my
birthday too yeah...." complete with air band guitar
riffs.
to me. Two demons wrap their arms around me
wishing me a happy birthday before going off to
play.
His mouth is moving but nothing is coming out.
His arms spread wide, in a gesture of helplessness.
I lean against the table with my arms crossed over
my chest. And smile beautifully.
Brian stops singing.
He leans to Mr Happy.
thing again.
at Mr Happy with a great deal of sympathy, says Happy
Birthday to me again and quickly vacates.
wait.
I thought today was the 6th, not the 7th."
He moves much closer.
then get you some flowers and your favourite bottle of wine....
yeah... and I was going to come home for an hour
(sexy grin)
before having to work again... It's true! Really!"
then um... Ok how about next weekend?"
Defeated.
He walks to the refrigerator.
Stands directly in front of it.
And begins to gently bang his forehead against it.
and quietly watch. Trying not to laugh and spoil this
wonderful moment. Wondering how long this will go
on, and if I had enough time to get the video camera
out.
He looks at me now as he bangs.
With each bang, a word comes out of his mouth.
"flowers?"
"dinner out?"
"Quote on a new computer?"
He stops banging and looks at me hopefully.
Take me home!
Main Dave's Chronicles