Her Holiness
The Lady of Dave

You read it correctly brothers and sisters.
The Lady of Dave is hereby ordained.
Amazing what you can do online these days
isn't it?

Bet you didn't know I was holy, did you.

Unfortunately, since my name really isn't
"Lady of Dave", I guess this probably wouldn't
hold up if I were to stand before you and your
betrothed and announced you "Man and Wife".
Considering how long marriages last these days,
who really cares, right?

I do however like the idea of being referred to
as "Her Holiness", I even have a ring you can kiss,
or whatever else deemed appropriate, depends how
you ask I suppose.

The Church of Dave's Bar'n'Grill welcomes all.
Take a dip in the Hottub'o'holy water, share
communion of vodka, coupled with kolbassa on wheat thins,
but note... we don't take your money. Unless you
realize it will be spent frivolously, invested poorly
and mismanaged to the ultimate degree.

Yes, we are not unlike most commerical ministries.

The only healing we do, is with Pokemon bandaids and
a kiss on the boo-boo. The only speaking in tongues
comes as "wheresh mah shoesh??" at end of a hearty
communion. We are fully sponsored by the NetWits, a
hearty band of humourists, most of which
just show up for the communion and hot tub.

If your soul isn't saved before knocking on this door,
you're in trouble, Jack. We can only guarantee saving
your neck if you slip under the water too long. And only
if you paid the proper cover charge.

Enter at your own risk.
Tshirts are on sale in the thrift shop.
Her Holiness, The Lady of Dave can be found
in the establishment, however you do realize
that you'd better have a really good reason to
disturb her during communion, which as been
known to last several hours. Devout Lady that
she is.

Our Lady
Who art in the hot tub
What did you say your name was?
Thy Grill has come
Your steak is done
Medium well, and it tastes like heaven

Deny thy father and refuse thy name

Damn wait, that's Romeo and Juliet

Oh never mind.

Mutter something substantial and come on in.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~copyright 2000 ~ Dave~~~~~~~~~~~

Take me home! Main Dave's Chronicles