Got a head cold? I sympathize.

I've been in bed for the most part of two
days with a head cold. "So what Dave" says
you? Well hey, even in bed with a cold, I've
learned a thing or two.

You can't drink gingerale, out of a can, with
no straw, while lying down. All you manage
really is to have it dribble all over your chin,
shirt and bed.

Blowing your nose while lying on your back
sorta backfires on you if you don't get it *all*.
'Nuff said.

When taking Nighttime Contac, be prepared to
pass out. Don't begin dinner, don't even sit in
the bathroom for any prolonged period of time, or
be prepared to wake up face first on the tile three
hours later. Not that I did, but you know me, that
would be quite the "Dave Moment"

Don't answer the phone if it happens to wake you
up during your "passed out phase". First of all, you
won't even remember the call, secondly, nobody
understands "mphhhthmph uh huh plabert" unless
they too are stoned on Contac.

Answer no questions, from *anyone*, until you are
sure the effects have worn off. You may have just
given your 7 year old permission to shave.

Don't watch funny movies. You'll laugh till you start
coughing, and you don't stop till you choke up a lung.

These are all things I learned today.
However the most important lesson I learned is
rather embarrassing.

I'll tell you, because everyone has done it.
Well, not the way *I* did it, but everyone has done
this with kleenex.

I know what you're thinking, that's disgusting.

Everyone's had a 'drippy nose'.
So you roll up a little wad of kleenex and sorta
stuff it in, so you're not constantly blowing. And
hey, that's ok, that's socially acceptable in your own
home. I wouldn't suggest an evening at the theatre,
or dancing the night away with kleenex stuffed up your
nose, but in the sanctity of your own sickroom... it's
ok.

I have one suggestion, if this is something you practice.
Don't..... I repeat..... DON'T forget it's there.
I also suggest you don't smoke while you're nostril stuffing.
Especially if you forget you have one currently stuffed.
Regardless of the moisture content, if you light a cigarette
and draw the lighter too close, it WILL catch on fire.
It will at least spark.
If it doesn't burn you, it will scare you and you
will be left feeling like a complete and utter fool.

Not that I would know.

Having the plague (ok so I'm over dramatizing, that's
my job) sucks, but these tips ought to make it a little
less uncomfortable for you.

It's ok to take nighttime Contac, it's ok to nostril
stuff... just try not to let anyone on the planet know
anything about it.

*sniff* *cough* *sneeze*
I'm off to get drugged up again.

~~~~~~~~Dave 2000~~~~~~~~~~

Take me home! Main Dave's Chronicles