Even the grocery lists change. No longer do you need deli meats,
sandwhich bags and plastic spoons for pudding.
A typical summer grocery list could be narrowed down to:
kraft dinner, hotdogs, granola bars, freezies and 75 bottles of
bubbles for blowing.

No more dragging Lucifer & Damian out of bed by the hair
10 minutes before the bus arrives because they're too tired to get up.
They'll be up 3 hours before I even *think* about consciousness,
bouncing off the walls. After all, there's no school,
why shouldn't they be up at 5am?

Water balloons, squirt guns, empty dishsoap container weapons
of destruction, tree forts and eating cheese sammichs with six
inches of dirt caked on each hand. What more does a little kid want
out of summer? What more? I'll tell you what more!

Canada's Wonderland. (Canada's feeble attempt at ripping off Disney)
Now there is a family adventure. 8 hours in the sweltering heat,
so Lucifer and Damian can visit Hannah Barbera Land, sit on Fred
Flintstone's ceramic head and eat so much crap that they throw
up after the first rollercoaster.

The Hunting Camp. The McColl (aughaughaugh) Hunting Camp.
So they all can sit around the campfire while i sit in the cabin
wearing two cans of bugspray and play connect the dots with my
mosquito bites. Not to mention having to *gulp* eat beans out of the can
"campfire style", listening to the gleeful shrieks as each child
tries to outdo the other musically from the effects of said beans.

For the next almost 12 weeks, Mothers nationwide endure
"I'm bored.....I'm hungry....
Can we go swimming?
Can so-and-so come over?
Can we have McDonalds?
I want a treat...."
And we'll hand them freezies, we'll go to the zoo.
(Yes, in my town, we travel to the zoo, to see a badger, three skunks
(dePewed) and squirrel monkeys.
Which look amazingly alot like the children peering in at them.

So much to do over the summer, and sooooooo damn much time to do it.
To be perfectly honest, I'm exhausted already, and i haven't even
froze my first box of freezies.

Ah but the beauty of it is.....
AFTER the 500 trips to the zoo,
AFTER throwing up on Fred and
AFTER 20 bottles of calamine lotion,
you are revered, you have provided entertainment on a daily basis,
you are 'the best mom in the world'....and even better....
after they get on the bus in September, you are greeted with the
sound.....of.........silence that lasts 10 months longer than the
earshattering squeals of summertime.

This is how the Dave Chronicles began. From summer vacation.
When I had too many kids to babysit and too many names to answer to.
Mom, Mrs. McColl, Kelly, Aunt Kelly.....aaaauuuuuuggghh!!!!!!
Looking upon the dirty but happy faces of the assembled children,
I promptly announced that they must ALL address me as...
(then i searched for something and thought Your Majesty was pushing it)
DAVE!!!!!!! Hence, I am Dave to every child now that knows me.
Funny how things like that stick. I shoulda went with Your Majesty.

Take me home! Main Dave's Chronicles

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